|There's a whole
new(d) world out there!
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It's summer! There's a whole new(d) world out there!
While reviewing messages on NetNude and other areas on the Internet, I see postings from men, apparently in their 20s and older. They post looking for companionship, or asking for a way to experience the naturist life. Strangely enough, there are advertisements for various clubs and national associations that they can contact. But too often, postings take a different form, and Iím told that they never work.
Some of these postings include:
Desperate pleas for invitations to private parties.
Why donít these work? For starters, naturists are friendly people, but like anyone else, naturists arenít going to invite anyone into their homes for social activities until they meet them in a controlled environment, or on neutral ground. This could be a naturist resort club or a naturist club function. People - any people - tend not to extend the hospitality of their homes to strangers based on an Internet posting. They would and should be particularly sensitive to this in a naturist situation. I recommend that if someone wants to make naturist friends, they should get involved in their local naturist club, or spend some time at a naturist resort. Activities abound at these clubs and resorts. You will find games of volleyball, petanque, tennis, cards, chess, and shuffleboard at most resorts. Often, all are welcome and encouraged to participate in these group activities. If the normal social skills are present, people manage to make friends and these invites may come along in due course. This shouldnít be interpreted as ďyou will instantly be invited to private partiesĒ, however. As I said, naturists are friendlier as a group than many youíd meet in other recreational pastimes. They are also human and tend to form associations with people with whom they have something in common. It may turn out for some that the only option for nude activities is the local naturist resort or social club and the friendships may not extend outside of the club. So be it.
Suggestions as to how to keep Mom and Dad from finding out.
These postings are not from teens, but from adults in their 20s, 30s. and 40s -- guys still living at home, asking permission to do things that most people beyond the age of 18 wouldn't even THINK of bothering their parents with.
A flashback of an experience came to me while I was writing this. My wife and I have a female, non-naturist friend who is now in her 30s. She is the youngest adult child in her family, and is still treated like the 'baby sister'. Unfortunately, she accepts the role.
We went to the Olympics in Atlanta, and since she was going as well, we made arrangements to get together at one of the events, and go off and have lunch after it had completed. Over lunch, she expressed happiness that her brother gave her permission to come out with us for the day. We were HORRIFIED. We reminded her that she was a 28-year-old adult with a good job, and her own apartment, and is financially self-sufficient. We advised her that it was unnecessary to seek permission to spend an afternoon with friends. Our daughter was 19 at the time, and we told her that we would be shocked if she asked permission to have lunch with a friend.
In direct comparison, if an adult male is 25, or 30, or 35, or older, he is old enough to make decisions like this on his own. The option of ďtelling allĒ to Mom and Dad - that a single adult male child is taking part in naturist activities, is another thing to contend with. That would be an individual choice, and sometimes not revealing the details to parents is advisable. But should the parents find out? Be open, revealing, and most of all, be UNAFRAID. You are an adult and have the right to live your life as you please.
Repeated pleas to meet naturist women.
I cannot speak from experience in this because I have not been in the shoes of a single male during my adult life. My wife and I have been married for 28 years, and we took naturist plunge together after five years of marriage. We have learned through our long history of nude recreation that most couples we meet were a couple before they became naturists. But, please allow me to make three points about single women in naturism.
First , letís dispel the notion that there are not any single women in naturism.
There are many single women in naturism.
Yes, you read that correctly! There arenít as many single women as there are single men, and so the numbers do not favour the men. But the ladies are there, and Iíve met quite a few of them at naturist functions. Some of them have become good friends of ours.
The second point is that the naturist women that I know - particularly the SINGLE naturist women - have a high degree of self-confidence. Most are fiercely independent and take no guff from anyone. They can fend for themselves in any social situation. Many follow the Erin Brockovich model in self-reliance and self-confidence, although I have found that all naturist women that Iíve met are nicer people than the character that Julia Roberts portrayed in the film.
They know what they do want and what they don't want. In careers. In relationships. In material things. In fun. And in life in general. Some are having too good of a time to be partnered, and so they remain single by choice. That doesn't mean that they don't date, or that they might not seek a serious relationship at some point in their lives. It must also be remembered that naturism is not a lonely hearts club. Naturist resorts and beaches are not comparable to some of their textile counterparts. They are not geared toward singles that are out to meet other singles.
The third thing to be aware of is that single naturist women are far less likely than non-naturist women to answer an "I want to meet a naturist woman" ad. Since they actually go to naturist functions, they have the opportunity to meet men there, and they can be very selective. As I said earlier, the numbers donít favour the men, but they definitely favour the women! But, itís unlikely that they'd want to link up with a guy in his late 20s or older who is still living at home with his parents. Their self-independence would usually lead them to not want to link up with someone who doesnít have it.
I know some single guys who met "the naturist woman of their dreams" but they didn't do it by answering or posting ads, or asking how to do this, or lamenting that no one will invite them to a private party. They did it by going to naturist functions, and through normal socialising, it just happened. Something just clicked.
I'm not saying it CAN'T happen - it's just that intimate relationships aren't easily formed on the 'net'. And to the best of my knowledge, naturist women are not scouring naturist-related bulletin boards and discussion groups looking for naturist men for a relationship. Nor are they anxious to pair up with men they donít know to allow them to gain entry to clubs and events restricted to naturist couples.
The way out of all of this
The only advice I can offer is that you should use the Internet to find events in your area that are open to you. Contact the groups that conduct them. Attend their events. Socialise. Make friends of both sexes. Get involved in the activities that the club or resort offers. Act normally. You should probably act as you would if you were on the first day of a new job. Donít stand back in a corner, but also donít be too overbearing in forcing yourself on people. If you should happen to strike up a friendship with a naturist lady, keep in mind that naturist women are women - just like the ones in the office, just like the ones that you run into every day. The difference is that they love naturism and tend to be more independent than most other women.
Do not fear rejection, as itís just one of lifeís unpleasantries that we all encounter and should regard as a growth experience. In fact, in reading any of the self-help books, you will learn that while rejection is usually unpleasant and unwanted, losing the fear of it is the first key to success.
Get out, get active, and enjoy life this year. That dream lady may be waiting for you somewhere; then again, she may not be waiting for you at your local naturist group. Itís late spring, and by getting out to events and activities, you will enjoy the beauty that is naturism and the pleasures of nude recreation.
You wonít do that by sitting at your keyboard, let alone meet Ms. (Naturist) Right!!! Autumn comes around too quickly and another season will be behind us. Donít miss out on it!
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